It’s a family thing….


Since I was little, I always wanted to be independent and successful. I never wanted to rely on anybody, especially not my parents. I hated when I had to borrow money from them or ask any favor.   

I think we all have a certain image in our heads of what we want to do, who we want to be and what kind of life we want to live. 

Our preferences, wishes and goals change over time and not many people know exactly what they want to do from their early age. 

While some people don’t find their interests very easily, my problem is that I want to do too many things.

I am just interested in thousand things, so it was always hard for me to pick just one and stick to it. 

That is why I was always running from one thing to the other and never really take time to master one thing in particular. 

I’ve always been kind of jealous of people who had one passion and they just put all their hearts into it. 

I was never one of them.  

My interests are changing, my passions are running around like crazy and if only focus on one thing I will quickly miss the other…. 

I am trying to accept the fact that I’ll probably never stick to one thing and that I’ll always run around looking for new interesting things to do. 

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Anyway, the thing I do now, kind of fulfill many of my interests. I still have many needs to satisfy, but I know I have to slow down a bit and I’ll be able to do everything I want. Maybe not at the same time. But one thing at a time. 

Psychology was part of my life since forever. My mom is a psychologist and even though at first I try to resist to do the same things as she does, I guess I couldn’t really escape it…. 

As I said before, I wanted to be independent and provide for myself since I was very young.

I didn’t want to rely on my parents so at first, I tried to stay away from what my mum is doing. 

But when she started her own company, she needed some help and although I was doing some other things back then, I sometimes helped her and was slowly, but intensively falling in love in psychology.  

I became interested in human behavior, mental health, and social psychology.  

So when my previous job just didn’t feel right anymore (won’t get into details about that) I felt like it’s time for me to start working for Brst psihologija.

Both I and my mom have many plans and ideas so I find working with our own company

And to be clear. She is not my boss. We work together.

We are equal in planning and decision making. If we weren’t it would never work. Otherwise, my ego couldn’t handle it.

Anyway, there are of course some pros and cons of working with your mother.

So I wanted to let you know what are the good parts and what are some challenges we both have to face when working together:

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PROS:

+ I can work wherever and whenever I want. The nature of my work is tied to particular location, so except for the time of lectures and workshops, I can pretty much work whenever I want.

+ I mostly make my own work tasks, I put my own goals and ways of doing things and she doesn’t limit me in any way. I am very hard on myself so sometimes she has to slow me down.

+ She doesn’t put any pressure on me (because she knows I make my own pressure all the time). She understands if I have a bad day. So if a day comes when I am not really productive she leaves me alone. She knows that it’s better for me to take it slow so she doesn’t force me to do things when she sees that I have a rough day.

The company is young and I believe has many potentials. That is why I find many challenges to it. I am also learning a lot about many different areas: about psychology, public speaking, entrepreneurship in general, online marketing, finances, etc.

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But of course there are also some CONS when it comes to working with my mother:

Sometimes we overreact without limitations. You know you say to your mother/daughter just about anything that comes to your mind. You probably wouldn’t yell at your co-worker but sometimes you do to your relatives for no particular reason. So sometimes when we are both under stress we can put that on each other. But I think it is getting better with time. We are both learning J

We spend too much time together. I love my mom and I am sooooo grateful for everything she’s done for me. But we do spend too much time together, I think sometimes we would both need a break from each other.

Because I work by myself or with my mom most of the time, I miss other people. I also live by myself so I’m basically alone most of the time and I think this »aloneness« is not very good for me. If you read my previous post about my anxiety you would know that although I’m a typical extrovert by nature, I kind of find it hard to be around people when my anxiety comes by. But I know this »aloneness« is not very good for me, so I’m working on it.

As I said before, I always wanted to provide for myself and I can’t get rid of the feeling that I am still depending on her. I am working for BRST for a year now and although I have many tasks and responsibilities, the majority of income is still coming from my mother. But I see this as a challenge and I am working on some other things that I hope will get me feeling of independence.

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I am most certainly grateful that I have an opportunity to do what I do. To have a vision that is pushing me forward. I really believe in BRST and it’s potential, it’s vision and purpose. It gives me the motivation to keep going.

Is that enough for me? To be honest, not entirely.

I still have some childhood dreams I want to pursue. I still have some other interests and passions.

I didn’t put them away, I still working on them, maybe more quietly and more slowly, but I still do.

And I hope and believe that everything will come into place when it’s time for it.

Some of us just need more time than others.

I think the major problem with my generation is that we all want things to happen right away with light speed.

We believe that success will come quickly and in the exact way as we imagined. As long as we work really really hard.

We compare ourselves with few young individuals who became successful at very young age and we feel like our time is passing and we are still not where we want to be.

But in reality, things don’t happen overnight. We build things slowly brick by brick. And for some people, things just happen quicker than for the others.

And as they say in love, things happen when we least expect it. So is with success.

That is why we all have to be a little bit more patient (including me).

The important thing is to try. To learn. To trust in ourselves. To grow. To learn. To not give up. To not compare too much to other people. And to take care of ourselves. To rest and to take time for our family and friends. Because without them, nothing is really as sweet as it can be.

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Love, Kaja

  • March 19, 2018

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